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Battle Rap News


October 23, 2014, 1:27 am


Image by Rehab Regime




By: Jon Reiss


Having covered pretty much every big NYC battle event for the past 2 years for RapGrid there are a few type of people I’ve gotten used to meeting, over and over again. Battle Rap has a core group of fans but at every big event there are a few new heads that are experiencing their first big battle.  These aren’t the only the people you’ll meet at a battle. There’s also drunk white girl, dude that’s trying to take drunk white girl home, guy that’s going to get a photo with every person whose ever spit a battle bar and even cops.  Last time, I shit you not, there were two cops outside Irving Plaza and once no one else was outside, a lady cop took out her phone and shows it to the other cop and all the sudden I hear, “Get that hat the fuck outta here, since he said I’m goin lose, get Smack the fuck outta here!”  And the other cop goes, “So what he’s yelling?  I don’t get it.“  Meanwhile inside DNA was getting roasted by Tay Rock.


Aside from cops and drunk white people.  Here’s the five types of people you see at every battle.


1.    Mr. Boo Face


This guy comes to the battle just to boo.  How often in life do you get to straight boo at somebody from the top of their lungs? Better yet, how often do you get to boo somebody who is performing the equivalent of poetry that they just spent months writing?  I’ve gotten to the point where I can spot boo face before the event even starts.  You can tell by the way he carries himself, his palms are sweaty, knees weak, he’s usually fat in the belly and he’s practically shaking in anticipation of the first weak bar.


2.    The Guy Who Hasn’t Been to a Battle Since ‘99


This guy hasn’t been to a battle since that time his boys started up on the corner and so after he watches the first battle, he suddenly thinks he’s figured something out that nobody else in the crowd knows. He goes outside after the first battle so excited and makes his announcement to anyone who will listen.


“Yo!  I don’t know if ya’ll realize this… but that shit wasn’t freestyle!”


3.    Mr. What You Don’t Know About


This is the guy who just got out of jail, so the first time somebody spits a jail-related bar, they lose their fucking shit.  So when Bigg K or Head Ice goes, “What you know hiding soup in ya asshole?” They’re like, “They don’t know about that!  They’ do not know about that shit!“  It’s good for them.


4.    The Guy Who’s Never Heard of Flips


This person doesn’t realize that in Battling, rappers constantly take their opponents shit and change it just slightly to use it against them. So when they hear a bar that sounds like somebody else’s bar, they lose their minds. “That’s Hitman Holla’s shit!  That’s his shit!”  They literally will not be happy until the crowd parts and makes a lane for them to walk onto the stage, take Smack’s mic and pronounce exactly who’s shit that is.


5.    The Tweeter


That’s me, but I’m doing for a reason, so stay the fuck outta my lane. The rest of ya’ll chill. There won’t be a test on this stuff later.  Jaz the Rapper, I’m looking at you. It’s a rap battle enjoy it.


Follow Jon Reiss on Twitter